


𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒

by sowoon



Series: 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 [1]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Character Death, F/M, Letters, No Dialogue, Original Character Death(s), Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23971672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sowoon/pseuds/sowoon
Summary: among the countless stars,you especially shineheartfelt confessions to brittle bones.a series of letter to the love she once hadand the hurt her heart endure.a love so pure but broken.𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌
Relationships: Park Chaeyoung | Rosé/Reader
Series: 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728247
Kudos: 6





	1. INTRO

( IN YOUR EYES ) ...

written words on my skin

the words that spoke our language

( 당신의 눈에서 ) ...

**( HAN SEOJUN )**

twenty two years old  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


「 of our love like a tale set in stone.

so lovely, sweet and tender like your

bones that were so brittle 」  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[ playlist ]

_in your eyes;_ crudeplay **|** _wake up;_ nct 127

_good life ;_ keiynan lonsdale **|** _colorblind;_ diplo

_erasing;_ jeong jinwoo **|** _lights down low;_ gnash

_la la love;_ nct dream **|** _grease;_ jonghyun  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


「 broken underneath my fingertips

like crushed candy. but when they healed

i was still by your side. so let me look in your

eyes and tell you I love you 」  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


❝ _s t a r t e d_ ❞  
16.04.18

❝ _e n d e d_ ❞  
24.04.18  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
WARNING

this story contains the following:  
angst & fluff

DISCLAIMER

all original characters, plot and dialogue belong to me, please do not steal my plot.

AUTHORS NOTE

originally posted from my wattpad (@/lovejaemins)

-𝖘𝖔𝖜𝖔𝖔𝖓


	2. ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #1 to han seojun

han seojun,

it's Sunday today, do you know  
what that means? means we go  
to the beach for a drive. i love the  
drives, it calms me down.  
  


especially when you drive. cause  
you are a really good driver and  
i always feel safe with you. and i  
love it when you hold my hand  
while you're driving. my heart still  
races when i get home and all i  
can think is you. you _you_ you.  
  


afternoon or sunset drive today?  
which one? you always said i  
should decide but i never can.  
i love both times. ugh. seojun,  
i can't decide.  
  


i need some time. wait never mind.  
i made up my mind, a sunset drive  
it is. you love sunsets.  
  


its your favourite thing after me. i  
always blush when you say that.  
but what comes after makes me  
melt. a kiss on the cheek and tiny  
'rosy rose cheek'  
  


why do i let you affect me so much?  
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**  
  
  
  


( _180416_ )


	3. TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #2 to han seojun

  
  
  
  
𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,  
  
  


sunday has passed and its  
a new week. i'm already tired  
and it's not even ten am. what  
am i going to do?  
  


all i want to do is get back and  
bed and sleep but i can't cause  
life summons me like euntak  
summons the goblin. except i  
don't see a rich nine hundred  
year old man i'm in love with  
when i turn around.  
  


wait that didn't make sense.  
but okay. it's Monday, i can  
barely think. jisoo told me to  
stop yawning cause she kept  
on yawning afterwards. she nearly  
hit me on the head cause i  
yawned twice afterwards.  
  


and like i said, it's not even  
midday. where are you when  
i need you to rescue me from  
this busy workday? i need  
you to come to my side and  
pull me away and let me sleep.  
  


oh! I just remember that one  
time i feel asleep on your  
mother's swing outside your  
house, your sister thought i  
was drunk remember. that  
was funny cause when i woke  
up she made me do a sobriety  
walk and dance and i swear  
i was just tired.  
  


i haven't seen seoyi in a while,  
i'll invite her for some lunch when  
it's my day off. i'm sure she'll  
like the company cause she's  
always at the court, i wonder  
if she gets time for lunch with  
all those cases.  
  


anyways till next time,  
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**   
  
  
  


( _180416_ )


	4. THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #3 to han seojun

𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,

i love love love today. you  
know why? cause it's Friday  
and that means it's my off day.  
and today i finally get to see  
seoyi for lunch. she sounded  
really happy when i called her.  
man if you heard her voice you'd  
laugh cause she was so happy.  
she even said that she barely  
has time to get out much but  
she promised me to meet up today.  
  


lalisa and jisoo told me to have  
fun today, they said i needed  
it cause I've been cramped up  
at work for the last two weeks.  
it has been tiring but at least i  
have you to think about that  
keeps me going. you've always  
managed to occupy my mind.  
  


it's almost time for lunch, I don't  
want to be late for your sister.  
  


till next time my love,  
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**  
  
  
  


( _180417 )_


	5. FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #4 to han seojun

  
𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,  
  


so. it's been a while since i  
stayed at home. you know.  
I've been working a lot. it's  
nice but it's too quiet. i hate  
the silence, even you know  
that. it's just too much nothing  
and i can't take it. it makes me  
go crazy. not even the static  
from my tv is on, I can hear  
pins writing on the floor. ugh.  
  


the only thing i hear is the  
sound of my own breathing.  
why aren't you here to fill up  
the silence? I need you here.  
i'll just wear one of your  
sweaters for now, maybe that  
will make me feel like you're  
here. it's been too long since  
i saw you. all i have are pictures  
and silly videos we took.  
  


i'm being silly. if you ever found  
these letters you'd think i'm a  
bit delusional. wouldn't you?  
i'm nuts for writing these.  
please don't ever find out  
about these letters. it'll hurt  
my pride if you do because  
all these words that i've spent  
on you makes me feel like I've  
lost you. but we aren't broken  
up but yet i still feel like that.  
  


please, don't read these if  
you ever find them. i can't  
have you knowing how much  
i really love you.  
  


till next time my love,  
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**  
  
  
  


( _180418 )_


	6. FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #5 to han seojun

𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,  
  


jennie came by today, it was  
a bit awkward but i managed  
to have a conversation with her  
without panicking. I haven't seen  
her since then and it hurt to see  
her. she also suffered. but what  
can i do? i can't change all the  
things that happened, even if  
i could, would it really make a difference?  
  
  


would we still be the same? seojun  
you mean the world to me but  
nothing could change what happened.  
I wish i could have come to terms  
with it all that time ago but i just  
couldn't. it was too hard you know.  
  
  


why did it have to be that way?  
  
  


till next time my love,  
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**  
  
  
  


( _180424 )_


	7. SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #6 to han seojun

𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,  
  


you had crystal bones and a   
heart of gold, you know. it was  
a fatal match but it was what   
it was and there was nothing that   
could change the fate of you.   
  


you were a good person but your   
body despised you. that was the   
tragic part. brittle bones that  
broke under a gentle touch.   
oh how merciless life is.   
  


all i could do was stand and   
watch as you withered away   
in that hospital bed, so weak   
as your body gave out every  
second. that was the cruel   
part. all I could do was just   
sit and watch.   
  


you body was bruised and   
battered, black and blue and   
all i could do was sit there and   
cry. you didn't want to wake up,   
they said you should have but   
you didn't and my heart gave out  
and all i wanted to do was die.   
  


the only feeling i had left in   
my body was pain. you were   
the one with broken bones but   
yet i felt pain, how selfish of me.   
  
  


I'm sorry my love,   
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**   
  
  
  


( _180424 )_


	8. SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #7 to han seojun

𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,  
  


how ironic is today? the day of   
the accident and your birthday.   
  


I couldn't even look at myself   
today, because all night i cried   
and cried until i had no tears   
left. lalisa and jisoo came by   
but i didn't answer the door, i   
wish i did but I couldn't even   
stand on my own two feet.   
  


you had crystal bone but it seems  
I have a crystal heart because   
it shattered the minute the clock   
stuck midnight.   
  


happy birthday my love,   
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**   
  
  
  


( _180424 )_


	9. EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letter #8 to han seojun

𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,  
  


tick tock there goes the clock,   
stupid little hand passing time   
and all I can do is watch as the   
time flies by and all my heart   
is doing is beating but yours,   
your heart stopped on this day.   
  


you didnt even wake up from   
the coma, your heart just stopped  
beating and I wasn't even there.   
the nurses had told me to go   
home that day and I did but I   
didn't know that it would be   
your last. I wanted to blame   
the nurses but I feel like they   
saved me from the horror of   
losing you. because when the   
call came and I rushed to the   
hospital, they told me that you  
had been crying before you died.   
  


after that I couldn't remember   
what happened, its still all a   
blur till today, I don't think I want   
to remember what happened next,   
I'm scared it'll hurt too much.   
  


because part of me is grateful   
that I can't remember much of that day.   
  
  


I miss you my love,   
  
  
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**   
  
  
  


( _180424 )_


	10. NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leter #9 to han seojun

𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇,  
  


its been a year since you died,   
and my heart is still trying to heal,   
its going to take time but I know   
it will heal eventually.but I know   
that even when it does heal, it will   
still hurt. just like when broken   
bones heal, they still hurt when its cold.   
  


I've learned a lot throughout this  
year, that even with you gone   
I managed to survive, it was   
hard, really really hard but I did.   
its amazing that before you died,   
I used to rely on you like you   
were oxygen, well I suppose   
that was because I loved you  
too much.   
  


I know you loved me, everyday   
you told me you did. but it wasn't   
just your words that told me   
you loved me, it was every little   
gesture and heartfelt look that I   
saw you sending me from across   
the room. I'm grateful that you   
loved me because even though   
I'm still breathing and I still have   
a lot of life left in me, you will   
always be the most amazing   
thing to ever happen to me.   
  


and I promise that I won't become   
some old spinster, I will look for   
love again but just not yet. my   
heart is still in your hands but   
when I'm ready, I will get out   
there again and I will be happy   
again with someone else.   
  


I don't think that ill write to you   
anymore, because if I do, I won't   
be able to move on and I need   
to. even if that means letting   
you go but you will always be   
with me, I know that. I love you   
and I always will.   
  


han seojun, you will always   
be the love of my life.   
  


till we meet again in another life time,   
  


𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**〄**   
  
  
  


( _180424 )_


	11. END SCENE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> to han seojun

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
❝ _in loving memory of han seojun. son,_  
 _brother & fiancé. you will be missed. _❞   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_t h e_   
_e n d_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗄𝗈𝗇𝖾  
𝗈𝖿𝗍𝗁𝖾  
𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵   
𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


❝ _s t a r t e d_ ❞   
16.04.18

❝ _e n d e d_ ❞  
24.04.18  
  
  
  
  


**〄**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 79 days before the demise of han seojun

[ **SEVENTY NINE DAYS BEFORE DEATH** ]

Sunlight peaking through the halfway shut blind seeped to the floor all the way wall, painting the room in a light yellow and gold, casting silhouettes behind every object that filled the bedroom. Laid ever so still underneath the thick duvets, the couple stared at each other, ever so entranced by each other. Their eyes trailing over each other feature, just watching each other. Neither feeling the need to speak and ruin the serene atmosphere that had surrounded them in the early morning.

It was early but neither of them seemed to care, to enthralled by the other. You could still hear the soft tweets of the birds outside and the bells of the little café that was opposite their apartment building as early risers arrived to get their daily dose of caffeine.

It was a cold day but the sun was shining and the wind was crisp but the lovers decided to take refuge in their bed, never wanting to leave the warmth of the bed and each other. It was too good to leave, and it was the first time in a while that the two had such a slow and quiet morning. Every other day, time flies and early mornings were spent rushing past each other in a flurry to make it to their jobs, albeit never forgetting a peck on the lips as they exited their comfy apartment.

It was a good change for the day, she wasn't in hurry to catch the bus to her office and he wasn't rushing to make it to the subway that took him to gallery on the other side of town. Only ever getting to see each other once they got through the threshold on the front door in the late evening.

But the silence had to end eventually, because no matter how much he could look at her, no matter the adoration and pride he felt for her, he couldn't help but utter three words that still made her heart race and her cheeks dust over pink.

"I love you."

Oh, how her heart melted. It may have been the umpteenth time she had heard those three little words spilling from his lips but she just couldn't keep herself from feeling bashful and flustered by him. It may have been powerful words but he was the one saying it, and he was the one who could make her feel every emotion related to love.

Slowly, he reached forward, placing his warm hand upon her bloodshed cheeks, ghosting his thumb over her skin before trailing his hand down. From her neck to her shoulder to the arm, eliciting goosebumps rom such a gentle touch and as he reached her hand that was underneath the duvet, he interlaced their fingers together.

"I love you too, Han Seojun," She mumbled, it was soft but he could hear every letter, syllable and word as clear as crystal glass, and it was his turn to turn bashful and embarrassed. Because this time his heart began to race from her words and even though he knew she didn't have to say those words to prove that she truly loved him, he couldn't help but feel his heart bubble at the sound of her voice.

Shutting his eyes lightly, he felt his nerves start to tingle, sending him into a cloud of doubt and worry. He was scared in that moment but he also knew that he was loved and he loved her.

"Seojun?" She called out, this time bringing their clasped hands to her lips and pecked his knuckles, trying to get the boy to open his eyes and for his ever so prominent worry on his face to fade.

So he opened his eyes and stared into her dark ones, trying to comprehend the sentence he had been desperately trying to spit out for what seemed to be forever. Instead he just stared at her and he knew that with Park Chaeyoung, everything was so simple but so extravagant at the same time.

And with every breathe he took since he had fortunately met her all that time ago, he knew she was someone that he'd never let out of his grasp, not until the day he dies.

And it was until his very last breathe, he loved her.

"Marry me."

**〄**


End file.
